Second Chances—Chapter 4

Quincy Coleman’s story reminds us that growing as a person not only requires us to forgive those who hurt us but to forgive ourselves.

His story begins with abandonment.

When Quincy was just three-years-old, he was abandoned by his mother. His parents split and he was raised by his grandmother.

Both of his parents were addicts, and at the age of 15, Quincy began to drink and smoke.

This Quincy’s life until, at 17, he was charged with aggravated robbery and possession of marijuana. He caught a sentence of 21 years in a Texas prison.

Only 17, he recalls “being the youngest on the farm” in the prison population. Because he was so young, Quincy was forced to grow up quickly.

He said that “The glass, the steel, and the walls can consume you.” He was left alone with his thoughts as he witnessed other men being broken down in prison.

Even with everything stacked against Quincy, he still decided to become better.

“I was of strong will and mind. I didn’t let it break me.” With that, he decided to study criminology in college on a whim, calling it “one of the best decisions I have made.”

Quincy made his life better while in prison, then at 38, he was released.

He immediately started to assemble a new life. A free man, he developed a love for the open road, and took a job as a truck driver. He drove all over the United States, visiting all kinds of cities and towns.

His addictions were not done with him. He got caught up in the road life and began to attend parties in the cities he visited.

He attended more and more parties. By this time his mother had passed away, so he used parties as an escape, and drinking and using as a way to cope.

His mother’s passing was like being abandoned a second time.

He loved truck driving and traveling, but he “got caught up in that wonder” and it became too much. Eventually he knew he needed help.

He made his way to San Bernardino and on his own walked into the county building, and there he was referred to a sober living home that ended up losing funding. And because of this, he arrived at Mary’s Village on October 5th.

He says that “I knew the direction I wanted to go in my life and I didn’t want it to go to pieces; they took a chance on me.”

At Mary’s Village, Quincy was able to start getting help with his depression and anxiety and cope healthily.

He healed by looking back at what made him angry, understanding his feelings, but not letting himself dwell on them. “Life can be summed up in one word,” he said. “Choice. Because it revolves around all the choices that you make.”

Quincy looked over his life, what he was grateful for, and took accountability for his choices.

It also helped that at Mary’s Village he feels lots of genuine love and acceptance. “We are like a family, everyone has a voice here and there isn’t no one passing judgement.”

He knows he still has a journey ahead of him, but he also knows that he has a second chance here as he continues fighting for his sobriety.

Part of that journey involves continuing with his education. Quincy has always valued education. Growing and learning more has helped Quincy tackle his problems and has helped him learn from his mistakes.

Mary’s Village has given him a chance to get his life together and head in the direction he wants for himself.

Quincy has learned that for him, this direction is through education and building his independence.

And even though independence is something we all should learn, having help on the way is something everyone needs.

For Quincy, the value of education and understanding is that “knowing is half the battle—what you do with what you know decides the outcome of the war.”

It was through his independence that he was able to understand that in order to heal, he needed to not only forgive those who hurt him, but also himself. With an education, he has been able to humble himself every day to live the best possible way only he can.

When he graduates from Mary’s Village, Quincy plans to return to the road. Truck driving was something he always loved to do. For him, it was “the first time I was doing something that I loved—it was like I put on wings and I just flew.”

Truck driving was a way for Quincy to use his independence to view the world and sort out his direction.

And with the help of Mary’s village, he will be able to do what he loves again.

What Quincy wants more than anything, not only for himself, but for the others he has met at Mary’s Village, is to be able to step out into the world and say, “Mission Accomplished.”